Oct 19, 2009

at yoga

At yoga today I remembered what that yogan had said in California. That you should just feel light and go with everything. I did that when we were just going into warrior II, and I just totally got it. I've just been too heavy for the last 5 years. Too weighed down, and I'm finally freeing myself to be light. To be strong enough to get through things, to not have to fight everything.

I'm dynamic, strong and swift. I visualised myself running an 800 metre race as a high school kid, lean and fast and powerful.

In shivassana I thought about Megan. I guess her family is moving today. I guess I felt like she was prematurely arresting anything between us, or with anyone really by going on a Boytox. I thought about how I might not feel good enough to go out with a girl who is a Ph.D scientist. My retort to that was that I had my family behind me, when really I am smart, will get a career sometime, kind, fun and kissable.

Last week I was thinking that I could end up being her under, when all i want is to be her other.

Well in 3 days I'll be able to stop thinking and just call her.

I'm tired now from too much scholarship, but the light, free feeling will come back again.

I really am better.

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