I saw an ex, over New Year's, last week. Our friends are friends, and we ended up in the same place one night. I knew her and her boyfriend were going to be there, and was uncertain about joining them. I get along ok with her. We went out like 10 years ago, she was my first girlfriend, and perhaps we get along best out of all of them.
I don't think I can accurately explain the annoying thing she does, in which she rather impolitely corrects manners, # irony. But Simon, her boyf of 4 years, can be a bit grating, competitive and a bit insecure. They asked me for a lift there, and I was considering it until I realised that that would be 2 hours of talking (listening) to Simon, about 1 hour and 50 mins too long.
A funny thing happened when I first joined them, everyone playing cards, hiding from the rain. Her first words to me were: 'do you want to play 'Asshole'?' Later it occurred to me that I should have replied, 'omg, you were always so forward.'
That night, by coincidence, we ended up sleeping in the same room. With my bedside lamp on, I was thinking about the emotional ramifications of this - sleeping metres away from your ex and her boyfriend. She asked me to turn off my bedside lamp. I wasn't really writing anything, but just wanted to wait to turn it off.
Earlier in the night, they'd disappeared into the rain for half an hour or so. They came back glowing...
I wrote a while back that I wasn't jealous of her & Simon, rather of the moments of youthful happiness between us, years ago. We were by the beach, too, that summer. I got sunburnt then, now it just rained.
The next time I saw them was on a beach, after New Year's day. I was trying to make chit-chat. They're coming back to Auckland to go to a wedding, Lilian and Oli. 'Olian', I said. 'Actually, she's more of a Lily.' And Simon said, 'She's being passive-aggressive.' No one said anything after that, and that was the last I saw of them.
I have this theory that boyfriends/girlfriends of someone, sometimes get aloong really well - sometimes they're the same type, and if they can get over the bs, are very friend compatible. Perhaps this holiday marked the transition of getting along better with her boyf, than with her.